Ethan’s Story

From kindergarten, I was the one who was considered the brightest, received many gold medals, and took only As. That’s why everyone has very high expectations of me, in all areas in life. I don’t blame others for having these expectations; they were so used to seeing me only succeed, they don’t know my failures, they don’t know what I’m going through inside of me. When I started high school, the first three years went well. In my senior year everything felt so overwhelming; everything made me feel pressured somehow. Being selected as a valedictorian made me so anxious. I had these kinds of thoughts about who I am if I am not good at my studies. Will others love and appreciate me if I won’t perform excellently this year? Is my value set by my academic performance? For a moment, it felt like I was losing my mind.

Going through all of this, of course, influenced my academic performance. I had this fear of opening up and being vulnerable in front of others. Innsightful helped me very much with opening up, as it created a non-judgmental space for me where I could be completely honest, understood and accepted.Discussing with my wellness coach, helped me understand the dysfunctional interpretations that I gave to myself and decreased the pressure that I felt consequently reduced my anxiety. I was taught some skills regarding communicating in my interpersonal relationships and also expressing my emotions and needs. I learned that being vulnerable and asking for help doesn’t mean that I am weak. Quite the opposite – it made me feel much stronger and in peace with myself.